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55 going on 13

I really am 55, but I am feeling like I am 13.

Recently my father's health has been failing and he has been in and out of the hospital. My father left when I was a young teen. He married a woman with 3 boys and left my family (mom and 3 girls) in extreme poverty. I have a strong faith and I know Father God is the only perfect father.

That pain of being left and seeing my father provide well for his wife and her children, and not for my family has come back to hurt me. My family was on welfare and I stole toilet paper from Mc Donalds while the children in his family had televisions in their bedrooms (early 70's).

Now I watch my father's family ignore him, criticize him and complain about him and it breaks my heart that "they" are the ones he wants and wanted. He needs physical help now and there is no one to step up and lend a hand. It seems the ones he took care of, are now, not willing to help him. I am angry about this.

I live over 2 hours away from him and cannot help often as I am taking care of my mother. She is also in poor health. I also am working, and running a household.

I could use encouragement please. I also pray that the ones he loves will understand he needs their help and company.

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