- Listen Live
KUTLESS-I DO NOT BELONG
I normally don't ask for help or even post on these type of places because I don't see how I can and it be private enough not to put myself and all my business out there. So I am going to ask for prayer and talk about some personal things and pray my self that I can save face.
I have been on West Coast 7 years. In Vegas for a year and half. I have struggled and worked hard for various companies giving 110% and being honest only to be laid off or fired. The fired because I refuse to do illegal bookkeeping. I lived in my car for 5 months when I got to Vegas, because the original housing arrangement was just a con and I was ripped off. I have stayed in a half way house, very scary and not a place for anyone that is not coming from a criminal background, because that is the kind of people that stay there or drug users.
Than I thought I was blessed having two different people step forward and offer me a place to stay out of the cold. I was wrong, the first a man...he wanted sex or money so I gave what little money I was getting from an 'on call' job to him to keep him from trying to get me to give him sex. Than a woman who got me signed up to her company told me to come stay with her but again, I was expected to clean up after her and her two teenage kids, give her money (she didn't pay rent it was her sons house), buy food for the home (it would be gone in 2 days), plus the abusiveness that was between that family caused me to be sick often due to stress.
I finally found a job that was to grow into a full time job and I took it. I moved out from the woman's house and into an apartment but only after I stayed with a classmate for 3 weeks while finding the apartment. I took this place after I spoke with the boss/owner of the business I worked for, asking her if this position was a long-term one and was she happy with my work, (I had been there for four months). After being told I was a great asset and that it was indeed long-term, I took the apartment.
One week after my birthday, day before Halloween, I was informed that the boss was getting back with her ex-husband and she was 'down-sizing' the bookkeeping side to only a handful of clients she would do. She told us we would work through end of this year and even suggested I go into business for myself and that she would give the clients a choice to go with me or find another bookkeeper.
Again, like so many times over the past 7 yrs I find out it was only about the person in charge. All the 'help' that I was to get, has not happened plus we were informed last Friday was our last day. I only have one client out of the 25 clients we worked on....she did not let go of all she said she was going to.
Now here I am again, in an apartment trying to figure out how I am to pay the rent, bills and live. I have one client that does not even cover the rent and I have invested money into business cards, website and other start up costs. Trying to stay positive is so hard, I try not to cry and just keep believing that God won't let me go through all of this again, but truthfully I am Scared.
So I ask for prayer that I may have some higher power of help with this....to help my business grow quickly or find a PT job while it does. To stay in my home and NOT have to live in my car again. To have real honest people that care about me come into my life and not try to take from me.
I know I should not say this but since I am anonymous than I shall pour out my heart. I WILL NOT live in my car again, I will die first. I have had to live in my car twice since moving to the west coast and I cannot do it again. I just want to get on my feet and finish my schooling and than go back to my home area where I know people are more about friends and loved ones, then they are out here.
I will be spending Christmas alone again for the 6 year in a row....can I at least have some strong prayer to help me deal with that and what I am going through??! I know there are others that have it worse off than me....believe me..I am one of those people you see every other week giving money to the ones on the corners. I try to help others and do for others but feel that it is my time to ask for and get some help. Is that so wrong....