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CITY ON A HILL-IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME
I'm a 55 year old woman with multiple mental illnesses,& a major traumatic brain injury who found God when I was 20.My father died when I was 3,& Mama remarried when I was 5.My sister got along well with my stepfather because she was 3 years older than I, & could understand. I couldn't,& my withdrawal from my stepfather caused him to give me up.He turned this over time into the belief that from age 5 I was trying to make my mama divorce him.I had no male role model & made a mess of my life with men.With the genetics and nurture problems,our family life was less than healthy. Eventually I married had a beautiful baby girl, but that didn't last.After we divorced I found out about the mental problem which only intensified with each year.Coming & going away from God didn't help.Now I'm holding on tight to Him & won't let go.But the family I love is shattered between the anger of my stepfather & the resentment my sister has over our relationship over the years.There can be forgiveness without reconciliation but not reconciliation without forgiveness.Lord help me accept their boundaries,forgive & let go.Please,dear God,help me make a new family in a church my sister & I go to where she looks thru me as if I was not even there.Help me.