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MATT PAPA-OPEN HANDS
I am a struggling Christian. I was raised in church as a child and when I was about 14 I started drifting away from God. I always believed in Him but got away from actually praying and talking with Him.
Now I'm 31 and I've been working on that relationship with Him for the past two years. And things have been going pretty good.
I have been in a steady relationship with a woman now for 8 years. And we have been living together which I know is wrong. I've given up the idea totally for marriage until recently. I have been seeing someone that I work with, shamefully, but I have started having deep feelings for her. Ive even started having the desire to marry her.
I've been praying for this and have asked God to search my heart to know that I truly love this new girl and that I want to stop living in the sinful relationship that I am in. But I don't want to marry the girl I'm with.
I have prayed many nights about this and I've even told my girlfriend that I don't feel like I'm in love with her anymore. But I'm not hearing God's answer. And its strange because I thought before when I would pray I would notice an answer to my prayer.
Now I'm not so sure. I still have string feelings for the new girl and I still font want to marry my girlfriend, however I do still love her. I've been waiting for God to show me what I should do but I don't see the answer.
Can I request prayer that He will show me what I should do and to come back to me to give me the feeling of security in knowing He is there? I really feel alone in this. I also must mention that I have two children from a previous marriage and I need God to watch over them during this as well.