life and choices

I have long known I have a problem with alcohol. for the better part of 25 years I have been sober but...I do have slips. I even convince myself at times that I can have a drink and all is well but that is not the truth. Others think I am sober so I drink by myself in secret.

The night before last the love of my life, my son, caught me as I was pouring myself a drink. I was doing so because I felt it was ok because I was celebrating getting a job that I was wanting for so long. I had been praying for so long for this and when God answered this is how I wanted to thank him?!?

Having my son catch me in the act was beyond agonizing. I text my husband the next morning and told him what had happened. I was so ashamed I could not talk to him face to face. I called my sister, who is also in recovery and told her but she is not responding. I remembered the prayer request for SOS. SOS is the only station I listen to and my family has been a supporter for years. I cannot do this alone. I need my SOS family praying for me to give me strength. I am still so ashamed but I know this is a good step...asking for prayers. Thank you and God bless all of you.
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