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MEREDITH ANDREWS-OPEN UP THE HEAVENS
I have so much trouble with lust. I am young and I know it's wrong but sometimes I feel iike I just have to satisfy it. My faith was so strong, and then I finally caved in to lust once more - now I am broken beyond repair. This happens so much, I'm so afraid God won't forgive me for it anymore, because I keep cracking and giving in. It's so exhausting, the guilt just kills me every time I give in. I don't know why I keep giving in because I know how much God hates it and probably hates me for it, but I just don't know how to stop. I can't do this on my own, I know I can't, and I pray about it but it just doesn't seem to be helping anymore. I lie in my own weakness, I depend on Jesus to help me out of this Valley, but I feel now like he has foresaken me because I caved in once more. Please, please keep me in your prayers. I wonder if I've fallen too far this time, if I won't go to the Kingdom anymore? The thought breaks my heart. Is he just pushing me back into humbility, or is he rejecting me? I am so confused, and frustrated with myself. Your prayers are so so so appreciated!!