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AT THE CROSS (LOVE RAN RED) BY CHRIS TOMLIN
I have come to a realization that my life is in a continuous circle of nothing… I work to make money to pay my bills so that I can have a place to live. It has come to my realization that my life has become meaningless. The more I think about it the more depressed I get. Maybe it’s a phase… I can only hope it is. I for some reason has become more distance with God lately too… It’s starting to get to me. I have general anxiety disorder is starting to act up very bad and I don’t know what to do any more… I really need some prayer. I feel like this is my breaking point. I have a fear of people leaving me and my boyfriend usually helps calm me but he’s getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan which triggers it even more and he’s unable to calm me because he’s in training. I had been through a lot… I have been molested as a child for 4 yrs, from 1st grade till 5th grade, and no one knew till I graduated from high school. I have PTSD and GAD and I been able to control them but lately it’s getting worse. I think maybe its because My mom has been feeling pain in her stomach and her back for about a month and has sour taste in her mouth and she doesn't have much taste to eat and its staring to scare me. We’re not able to afford the doctor’s visit and we don’t have insurance so its been bothering me a lot that there inst much i can do and i feel helpless and so i guess that's what makes it all uncontrollable… We need some prayer and healing.