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My wife has given me an ultimatum today. Either choose her or my family. If I choose her, I am agreeing to never see my family face to face again and will only be 'allowed' limited monitored phone calls and emails. There are no grounds for this aside from her not liking them due to past disputes. She is claiming that the Bible says to leave your family for your spouse, which she is right in part but this is extreme. She has stated that she will agree to never see any of her family again if I agree to her demands. I believe this to be completely unfair and unhealthy for everyone. We are both believers and have two children that this is and will affect. Please pray for a lasting peaceful resolution. This is all coming to a head after 11.5 years of marriage.

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Dear brother in Christ. I

Dear brother in Christ. I will pray for a ensible solution to your problem. I was in the same place 30 years ago. My first husband was that way but he was an unbeliever. I left for my own sanity. Asking the Lord is all we can do and pray that the problem corrects by God's standards.


My spouse and I have been in

My spouse and I have been in the same boat believe it or not for 15 years. It is very hard for our kids and very unpleasant and painful for us. I will admit.. I gave my spouse pretty much the same ultimatum. But I soon learned I had to compromise. My parents have always treated my spouse as a child of their own along with our children. My spouses parents have been 'dictators and my spouse has had the choice of towing their line or being cast out.' After this past summer, I made my own decision after prayer that I felt was fair to my spouse, his family, and to myself,.. since I have been 'at fault' for whenever my spouse has not met with their approval. I refuse to be used or mistreated, and disrespected any longer and my spouse admitted to using me as a 'scapegoat' a times for our family issues with them. Sometimes there are not perfect endings.. or ways that we would desire for things to work out. BUT GOD has the right answer for each HOUR we are in with them all. Right now.. my husband and kids are free to fly and go to see and do whatever they like with his family. I choose to forgive, but will not take part in anymore hurt to my own self by their words or actions. They can go to them, but my home is my safe place. I don't know what GOD's answer is for you and your wife... I do know how painful it all can be.. but the place i have found that is best with GOD is to honor each one's feelings and to compromise so that although it is not perfect.. no one is cast off or exiled... and in time.. GOD can heal if we all are willing. Praying.

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