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i looked for love where it couldn't be found

For some who come across this might say tht my problem isn't huge&im young&shouldnt mourn over this but im hurt... and i cnt help but to do it.
I became Christian abt a year ago now& well upon tht little time i went into a relationship with a guy from my church& to me it was perfection bc he was Christian, we read the bible together, prayed, and he was my 1st boyfriend so for me it was a huge deal...

It was just 'perfect' just recently he broke up with saying he was moving bck to his hometowm& turns out he only broke up with me to get bck with his ex.
I know im only 19&i have much ahead & ultimately God didn't want this for my life bc even before he broke up w/me i.prayed tht if it wasn't God's will for us to be together to seperate us so i hve the comfort knowing God knws wht He is doing.

It's just i cnt seem to let go. it has hold of me! Ive came to realize i made him my god when i was in the relationship I was idolizing &it breaks my heart im doing this to my Lord. I feel anger towards myself tht i cannot let this go&truly forgive him. Knowing he lied&it was all empty is just sad to me.. & he just doesnt care& is able to act w/me as if everyrhing is ok.

I know im not a victim& i should rejoice the relationship is over bc it didn't glorify God. I say ive let it go.but in reality i hvnt when they come into my head constantly.

im just broken i need of guidance& i feel like ive failed &keep failing so much.

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Hey Sister, Your pain is not

Hey Sister,
Your pain is not small to God and he knows exactly what you are feeling. He is numbering the hairs on your head and saving your tears in a bottle. :,) It's perfectly normal to feel sad, angry, sometimes denial, confused, all of these things when someone we love hurts us this much. So don't beat yourself up worrying that God is displeased with you too ok?! I can hear how much you love The Lord Jesus and its obvious you recognize that maybe you put this relationship before The Lord at some time, but we all do that with different things without realizing it. And then Jesus brings us back to our first Love right? Him! I can already tell that you have asked forgiveness, so you have it from The Lord. You already see all of the wonderful things that he is wanting to teach you in this, and he is growing you. He's answered your prayers, he's carrying you and he's making you look more like Jesus everyday because you love him and you are seeking to please him. So don't think just because your still hurting that you are failing God in anyway. He loves you just where you are, and you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep your eyes on Jesus until God gives you his VERY BEST!!! Love in the Lord, Violet <3

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